Tuesday, 13 August 2013

Left is Right

Today is left handers day! And you thought I was going to talk about the current election campaign! So do keep reading as this post has NOTHING - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING - to do with the election - because in my opinion neither left nor the right are right!

As a 'famed' left hander it's nice to think that we have a day to celebrate being the 'odd one out' - we are members of the 1-in-10 club. We 'oldies' have managed through school with dipped pens - and as a special compensation - a blotter to learn to write although many who have seen my writing would firmly disagree that it is in fact writing. We're considered a creative bunch. And I'd have to agree with that!

I was asked the other day why I wear my watch on my right wrist. Of course the right-hander who asked me wore his watch on his left wrist! I'm not clever enough to wear a watch, bracelets and other trinkets and hold a pen and write all at the same time. The clatter would be too noisy for me to think!
looks a bit awkward doesn't it?!
Many years ago - in one of my many former lives - I thought I would open a shop selling goods for left handers. Now you right handers won't understand this - but in those days there were so many 'tools' that were made for you right handers that made our lefties life difficult. Like the cord of the iron being placed on the right handers side (they are now placed in the middle) or the scissors whose handles are moulded 'right handed' (still a problem) and knives that cut for right handers (still a problem). It brings back memories of my favourite aunt. Cutting a perfect slice of bread for her was a difficult task. Not only did she have a 'right-handed cutting knife' (serrations on the wrong side!) meaning she cut at an unusual angle but she also had a husband who would be sent into a lather as he then needed to 'straighten' the cut only to have her 'angle' it again. This angling and straightening went on for over 40 years!  Might I add with good humour (I think!) Of course these days she wouldn't have a problem - slicing is done in the factory or bakery! He would be pleased! No wedges one end and thin bits the other!

Having decided to open a shop I then needed to register a name. Off I went to the Business Registration office. I wanted to register The Left Handed Shop. I sat and waited in the queue with others registering such exciting names as AAA Towing, and finally my name was called over the airwaves. "The Left Handed Shop". A room full of people turned and watched as this 'weird freak' trotted up to the counter with expectation in her eyes. "Taken" said the 'teller' adding no smile, recognition or humour. "Can I try another name" I asked. "Yes" he replied sighing "Well I'll have Left is Right" I replied! Back in the queue I went as he consulted the filing cabinet of names (no computers then!). More AAA Dresses, AAA every other boring name continued until yet again I was 'shamed' as he called "Left is Right". More turning of heads as I swept to the counter. My 'teller' obviously hated his job (who wouldn't with so many boring business names) and without a smile he said "Yes you can have that name". He asked me to sign for it, and then he signed - with his - LEFT HAND. "Oh you are like me" I said. No response. I fled the building. He's probably still working there!

After much thought I decided not to proceed with my idea. And perhaps that was the right (left) decision! Makers of most quality goods must have heard we 'lefties' cry. After all the iron is now 'multi-handed'.

I'm a leftie in 99% of the things I do and those that I don't are surprising. I did of course have (repeat have) a great left-handed serve (as does Rafael Nadal and Tony Roche just to name a couple) but surprisingly I play golf right-handed. Play being the operative word! Just as surprisingly my mother who was a rightie played golf left-handed!? The only other things I do right handed are knitting (my mother couldn't teach herself to knit inside out - 'cos that's what it looks like) and to use a knife and fork the 'correct right-handed way'. That's it. 

I'm disappointed that left comes from the Anglo Saxon word lyft for weak or broken!! The word southpaw is often used for us. But I've never heard northpaw have you? Are you a southpaw? If so happy Lefthanded Day. What do you do right-handed (northpawed!) - if anything?

No comments:

Post a Comment