Bits and bobs creations

I was in the National Gallery of Victoria (Federation Square) shop yesterday and was thrilled to see a beautiful cap - actually called a Scold's Bridle made out of bits and bobs (odds and ends, bric-a-brac, knick-knacks, flotsam and jetsam etc etc etc). Of course it wasn't wearable - these days - but I was entranced by it.

There's a bit of everything here

I think I can see 2 eyes, 1 red nose and bowlips. Can you?

Made out of odds and ends - probably a lot of half a pairs of earings (the other lost!) - it was a delight to see although the history of a Scold's Bridle tells a different story. It was first recorded in England in 1567 and in Scotland was used on female transgressors and women considered nags, shrews or scolds - those suspected of witchcraft and preventing them from gossiping or speaking! It was sometimes called 'The Gossip's Bridle'. Now I know where the word scold comes from: a woman who nags or grumbles constantly - dreadful.

Woman wearing a Scold Bridle - oh the shame of it (wikipedia.com)

Even with that ghastly history it so reminded me of the necklace that I made out of half pairs of earings, broken pieces of necklaces, unworn jewellery that needed a revamp, old buttons (some from my grandmothers and my mothers collections). In otherwords just about anything I could get my hands on!

My trinket necklace

Whenever I wear it there is always much comment. And it makes a fair bit of noise - jingle jangling as it does.  

Iris couldn't fit another piece of jewellery on - well then maybe she could!

It reminded me of the noise of all the jewellery worn by the famed Iris Apfel - the current documentary on her at the movies really is a must. Do go see it. After all anyone in their 90's who has become a stylist mega star deserves to be supported. (read an interview here). How much more interesting is her dressing than the usual predictable 'oldies' wardrobe. She does make a lot of jingle jangle noise in the film but I say go-for-it! I don't know how she has the strength to lift her arms with all those bracelets. (more fun than lifting weights!)

Her necklace reminds me of the 2 dozen strands of pearls available at the Bead shop!

I was sad to read that her devoted husband who features in the film died just short of his 101st birthday - here is the New York Times obituary.

Do you ever jingle jangle when you step out? Oh and if you would like me to 'run up' a necklace for you out of bits and bobs then start collecting and then contact me at jangwilliams@iprimus.com.au and we could come to an 'arrangement'! And I assure you it will be less than the Scold's Bridle - a snip at $5000.00!

 

A no dig vegetable garden

A few months ago I wrote about the 3 Bens (see post here). A couple of weekends ago I headed down to the Bellarine Peninsula to do a Permaculture Course with the 'gardening Ben'. Of course this is in preparation for my country retreat although I hasten to add that I have absolutely no intention of creating a 'have to be there' vegetable garden. Having to be there would rather defeat the purpose of a country 'weekender'. There would be nothing worse than worrying about whether the rabbits had eaten my lettuces, or the creepy crawlies had attacked my spinach or the watering system had ceased to operate. So I went along with all those thoughts in my mind and came away with all sorts of plans to ponder. 

What I found fascinating about the no-dig garden (well a bit of light digging but no grist to the mill/shovel digging) was how simple it all seemed. I'll take you through the process but first a view from the vegetable garden at Kiltynane Winery where we learnt the secrets. 

Peace, tranquility, a view to die for and a veggie patch to work on

So it was down to the veggie patch to see how it is done! One of the problems that Ben has is that the wind can be damaging but he has to work in with the view for the visitors - so as much as he would love to plant windbreaks they would interfere with the views. It's all about compromise.

Let's chop down the use-by vegetables and then cover them with staw

Out with yesterday's newspapers - spread them all over the prepared plot and...

Then it's time to water them in!

After a good water it's on with another bale of hay - spread it all around (doing the hokey pokey)

A visit to the compost for some sweet smelling odds and ends from the kitchen

Including some steaming (truly) coffee grounds you can see in the front which Ben collects from the local coffee shop

 

 

More spreading - Ben calls his layers a Lasagne

And once his lasagne is made he will walk the garden and pull up some self-sown seedlings and just plant in the top

Of course having delicious compost including horse, sheep and chicken poo plus food scraps and the ubiquitous coffee grounds (keep away the bugs!) will make a difference. He also noted that the bales of hay which have been in the compost can also be used as the edge of the garden and seedlings can be planted in the top of it as well! Amazing.

Gorgeous colours also help - as do delicious veggies

If you think you would like to do the morning course then the next course overlooking the beautiful Swan Bay is on 18 October (see the link here) For a non-gardener like me to get all excited it must be good! And the olives which were removed from my home in town and are currently awaiting transport to the country retreat - they will benefit I'm sure from what I learnt. So go no-digging if you can!

A Peeping Tom

I wandered up the street the other day chatting to a neighbour who was off walking her dogs when we stopped to 'chew the fat'. As one does!

As we chatted I noticed the street bully (in the cat world) and I suspect the eater of one of my favourite goldfish (see post here telling the sad tale!) watching us from a very secure position!

 

Giving new meaning to the phrase 'peeping tom'

A very fat Mr Peeping Tom watching those damn dogs depart - phew!

What is it about cats and dogs. They just don't seem to get on. Do you know of any dogs and cats that do?!

Having said that - if you want to see a friendship that brings tears to my eyes then click here. I promise you won't regret it.

Here a roadblock, there a roadblock

It doesn't seem to matter where I drive - or walk - these days there seems to be a road closed sign whilst yet another highrise or renovation takes place. Someone whispered to me that we were on the cusp of a recession - me thinks not. If we were some of the developments would not be going ahead. 

Warning - another road closed!

Mr Hi-Vis Vest Roadwork Sentry viewed me with suspicion as I took this photo

I was awoken recently by the beep beep of a backing truck and when I popped my head out my window yet another concrete truck was trying to back up my narrow street in order to gain access to a Victorian house that was in the throes of being renovated down an even narrower lane. The logistics of this had me gasping. It went on for days (not all day - but every day for over a week!) And to make sure that no-one else had access to the end of my street and into the lane the road was closed whilst each concrete truck backed up the street. And this meant that 1-2 'roadwork sentries' were required to ensure only those damn concrete trucks could have access.

A huge concrete truck squeezed into the top of my street - note the hi-vis roadwork sentry working hard!

Now I'm told that there is money to be made by being a roadwork sentry and the job is rather sought after! All they seem to do all day is stand with a paddleboard which they need to turn from Stop to Slow. The remainder of their time is taken up drinking coffee, chatting, eating, monitoring their mobile phone, leaning on cars and generally having a pretty relaxing time. They even have their hi-vis (!) vests and rainwear provided! Sounds like a bonza job to me. One of the roadwork sentries was even older than me! During this upheaval there was a lovely old British Racing Green MG sports car parked illegally across the road from my home. It made getting into and out of my garage almost impossible. I was about to ring the Council to get them to send around a traffic cop to slap a parking ticket on the windscreen when lo and behold the old roadwork sentry codger knocked off work and slipped behind the wheel! As I said there's money to be made from being a roadwork sentry!

Always useful to lean your 'paddle' against the wall while doing I don't know what!

Recently there was an article in The Age which really said it all. Author Shane Maloney has lived in inner urban Brunswick for 35 years. As he said "At the moment in Brunswick anybody with a high-vis vest and a lollipop stick can close an entire street for a day - there appears to be no regulation." But it was the final paragraph of the article which really resonated with me. "One perverse impact is developers, targeting land in an activity centre(inner urban), can easily build to eight levels, while residents wanting to renovate can't move their house two metres closer to the fence because of setback requirements". 

This is where the concete was going! It has been like this now for a few weeks - the neighbour on the right (see green temporary fencing fabric!) tells me that he has lost half his back yard, privacy and security - glad the Council is looking after his interests! Not!

Are you tired of being put second while all this development is taking place.  I know I am.

Are you slightly pear shaped?!

After my last weeks post on those dreaded yukkas I threatened to write about the removal of the olives at the front of my home. But I have decided that I will do that at a later date when I can show you the ritual of replanting them at my country home in the months to come. In the meantime they are awaiting their 'final resting place' in my landscape gardeners front yard!

Hmmm

So let's have a bit of fun this week! Many many years ago I cut out an advertisement for jeans from - if I recall - Italian Vogue, which highlighted what I would call - one of woman's better qualities! Or a woman's curse. Being of the Rubanesque variety myself I've always wished to have no bottom - and long legs - for jeans - but alas it ain't the case for me!

Are you slightly pear shaped?!

It's funny what you keep in those odd collections which most of us have. This photograph has always been part of my collection. 

Buggy Jeans - never heard of them - perhaps we women boycotted the firm!

Recently I've taken to photographing the odd pear. I fear there might be a slight obsession here! 

I don't remember what this ad was for - but at least in Italian Vogue the pear was clothed! Poor Kate!

So apart from eating them - poached in red wine or fresh they always have a slightly different meaning for me.

Delicious poached with star anise

A peeled pear studded with cloves - tres elegant!

Will you look at a pear through different eyes in the future?!

Clever - a whole fruit salad here!

The Finale of the Yukka Story

Hooray you cry. Well nothing like the hooray that I have cried. For those who have been following the 'yukka saga' ( you can read it here and here) I am pleased to say that there is a happy ending (after many many dollars and much angst to get there). So let's start at the beginning and end - well - at the end!

Early days in the life of a yukka or more - I loved their structure - then

We went from a marvellous back garden with a lovely old brick fence to a war zone. Those yukkas grew, and grew, and grew (they left Jack and the Beanstalk for dead) until the lovely old wall was pushed at such an angle that it had to be removed before it killed someone. 

So down it came in one fell swoop - giving new meaning to crashing like a ton of bricks

The roots had played havoc with the dear old fence and the small retaining wall which sat precariously at a 45 degree angle. 

The photo doesn't do justice to the horror of a real life viewing. A 'temporary' fence for security and the chainsaw massacre of the yukkas

My neighbour had agreed to 'make good' the removal of the yukkas - and the fence - but I'm afraid this is a neighbour who 'promises the world' with never an intention to deliver. My pleading went on deaf ears, unanswered. I was dealing with someone who has a double degree in avoidance and responsibility. In hindsight it was never going to happen. So after a wait of 6+ months (I am a slow learner!) I took the bull by the horns and did something about it myself - at enormous expense!

But first those damn yukkas had to be killed. Just putting the chainsw through them only encouraged them to sprout more shoots. So it was out with the electric drill to cover them with holes into which went the poison. And I was delighted to see that it worked!  A friend had mentioned that he thought I should plant the yukka remains - and their babies - at my new country weekender and was stunned by my hysterical reply. "I've  poisoned them, and I never want to see them - or another yukka again!" I retorted. Suffice to say any further suggestions were thwarted by my angst!

Sorry baby yukkas - you're on the way out!

Once I'd killed them, those dead yukkas had to be removed for eternity. Easy peasy you think. Well just look at the mess. But before you do I want you to imagine the nightmare. Every one of them had to be cut up (the chainsaw had trouble slicing through their fibrous insides which were full of water). Then everything had to be transported through my home and out to the street. Of course the week we chose to get rid of them just happened to be the coldest in more than a decade - so with front and back doors open - my home was like an ice-box. But I was prepared to put up with anything to see the last of them.

Step one - remove the 45 degree angle retaining wall

Step two - remove the offending stumps - taking care not to impact on the brick retaining wall - or I would have had the neighbours soil slide into my backyard (his land is 1 metre above mine!)

Step three - load up the wheelbarrow, then totter it through my home and out to the trailer

And then we had to start again. New fence - damn the neighbour - but this one was on my land. I was going to be in control of my garden - and fence - from now on!

My new fence with a yukka free garden bed - whoo hoo

The new fence with the neighbour's temporary fence peeping over the top

Now for many of you what comes next will sound horrifying. I have planted - wait for it - brace yourself - bamboo! But I hasten to add that it is the NON INVASIVE bamboo. With 3-storey townhouses to be built on my boundary (by the infamous neighbour) I want something that will hide them from me. And they will grow to a height of  up to 6 metres - fast! But they can be pruned to look like this. 

Pleached bamboo - choose your height, bend the branch, snip, let it go and it will spring back up - that's it!

Well I'm exhausted. I bet you are too! Next time I'll tell you about removing the olives from the front of my home. Another great planting choice. But I think that's enough for you this post!

Finding a home for Lucious Lashes

The last 5+ months have seen me searching for a country home/getaway. I need a project. I love a project. A project stresses me out but reminds me that I'm alive! And I love to 'play in the dollies corner' - i.e. I love 'fluffing' up houses. Since selling my short stay rental property - Bowen Cottage - in January of this year I have been trying to find a property where I can 'do it all again'. There's no rest for the wicked. And being 'retired' is not life enhancing for me.

Sold to the highest bidder - farewell Bowen Cottage

About 2 months into my search I was buying fresh produce from a shed on a property down near the seaside. And there was Lucious Lashes! I just had to have her. She became my talisman as I promised her I would find her a home in the country! And she has continued to remind me daily whilst 'camping' on the landing at the top of my stairs!

Lucious Lashes - awaiting her new country home

With a self-imposed limited budget it has been extremely challenging but sometimes 'cutting my cloth' to fit my finances is not a bad thing. I'm not good at it but... And with low interest rates and the recent property feeding frenzy I couldn't have chosen a better/worse time to look. My criteria has included the fact that it must be within 1.5 hours of Melbourne - and if possible on a railway line (well not actually on the line - but you've got my drift!) Being a commutable distance from the city has certainly made life harder for me. But then I love a challenge.

During my country home search I was reminded often of a quote from the author Anita Desai:

Isn't it strange how life won't flow, like a river, but moves in jumps, as if it were held back by locks that are opened now and then to let it jump forwards in a kind of flood?

The most interesting thing I have learned is that real estate agents in the country are a law unto themselves. Underquoting is rife (even worse than in the city), follow-up is pathetic, working for the vendor seems to be their catchcry and yet I missed two houses where I would have offered more than the selling price if they had bothered to come back to me, a work ethic which sometimes left me gasping  and included: "I'm too busy to show you through, I have a function to go to" and "There's no one in the office available - next week would be better". "I don't work on Monday and Tuesday" (no offer of someone from the office being available!) I even had "My father died" (although I tended to believe that one!) It has been astounding. 

After many knockbacks, I finally found a lovely piece of land just one hour from Melbourne (nearish to a railway line - we oldies are learning to travel this way!) but for various reasons even that offer fell through. I was going to move a house onto it. What a project that would have been! It had views to Mt Macedon and was within a 10 minute drive of 3 'hot' country towns (2 with railway stations!)

Magnificent Mt Macedon in the far distance

I wailed (silently), gritted my teeth and continued my search. And then it happened! I was showing a friend the 'lost' land and by chance the new house next door was 'Open for Inspection'. We walked in and both burst into tears! (spontaneous joyful wailing!) New, perfect and all that was on my list. And more! I had to have it - right then and there! And here it is! (the publicity photos don't do it justice but...) Of course it was over the top of my budget but bread and dripping and water daily will be a joy! I'll just have to rent it more often for short stays when I'm not in situ! - more on that later!

I'll need to get stuck into the (non) garden - there's a gorgeous hawthorn hedge at the front - see top right!

d

Dream, dream, dream

I've spoken to Lucious Lashes and she says she will be very happy on the far wall!

Having a purpose to find Lucious Lashes (and me!) a country home/weekender has certainly kept me on track. I have driven for miles. I have had highs. And lows. But now we can both move forward! I'll keep you posted on my plans for the next stage of the journey. So 'It's in for a penny, in for a pound' which sounds so much better than 'In for a cent, in for a dollar' (lots of them!) don't you think?! Moo.

If there's a single lesson that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so.
Lev Grossman